Death during the Holidays
Losing a loved one during the holidays, and surviving the holidays after losing a loved one, can be a very difficult time. It is a subject no one ever discusses. We visit, we eat, we marvel, we share, laugh and sing.
I have two friends who have lost their long time spouses’ this year. Both have been the caregiving partner for many, many years. And now they are without that intense, loving work, and without the person with whom they shared their life. I have counseled both of these individuals. The holidays are a time to reflect and to enjoy. It is not easy, but it can be done.
Losing a Loved One during the Holidays
One dear friend had difficulty cleaning out his wife’s closet. He lives in a very cold climate and I suggested that by giving her clothes to the local shelter or church, her legacy would live on by warming those who need clothing. He took my message to heart, acted on it and felt wonderful after the clean out. He will spend the holidays with his grandchildren and children.
My other friend lost a loved one during the holidays, her husband. She is a very insightful individual and had been preparing for her husband’s death for a few years. Now that he is gone, she is finding solace in the groups she belongs to….a women’s group of dear friends, a meditation group at her place of worship and her exercise community. She is doing well, although she reports sadness comes to visit.
And so it will, I have advised, and so it should.
So take this time of year and love those around you….cherish the visits and the craziness. Realize how much each and every person means in your life and treasure the moments.
How do you plan to spend the holidays this year?
My family and I intend to party and enjoy….you should too.